Yugioh! Fantasy 7
by Capito Celcior
Summary: As you may guess from the title, this is the adventure of FF7, totaly screwed up by the cast of Yu-gi-oh!. My first atempt at a humor fic. Chapter 5: Yami arives at the bar.
1. Our heroes

Capito: Hello, and welcome to the first chapter of "Yu-gi-oh! Fantasy 7".  
  
Yami C.: He's your host, and I'm the assistant. Do I have to be the assistant?  
  
Capito: Yes you have. Now be a good Yami, and announce.  
  
Yami C.: Fine. Capito Celcior does not own Yu-gi-oh! or Final fantasy 7 for that matter.  
  
Capito: There you go. Okay, this is the all famous FF7 story, played by the characters of YGO. Its my first attempt at a humour fic.  
  
Yami C.: And it'll show.  
  
Capito: Hey!  
  
(suddenly everyone of Yu-gi-oh! Appears. Yugi, Yami, Tea, Joey, Tristan, Isis, Serenity, Kaiba, Mai, Ryou, Yami Bakura, Malik and Yami Malik;)  
  
Yugi: Hum, guys? What are we doing here?  
  
Joey: Yeah, I was just taking a nap.  
  
Capito: Well, you are going to play FF7.  
  
Tea: Really?  
  
Yami C: Yep. Capito here got the brilliant idea of doing something that has been done numerous times before.  
  
Capito: It has?  
  
Yugi: I think so.  
  
Capito: Well, we'll do it any way! Okay, the cast.  
  
Yami C.: First, Cloud Strife. The leader and hero of the game. He's lost part's of his memory, and thus who would be better then our own ex-amnesia ruler: Yami  
  
Yami: Me? Did I say I was going to participate in this story?  
  
Capito: No, now shut up and let's continue.  
  
Yami C.: Yami Strife's good friend Tifa Lockheart: Isis  
  
Isis: I'd love to, but. I can't fight with my fists like her.  
  
Capito: Oh you can.  
  
Isis: How.  
  
Capito: Cause I say you can. Yami Celcior?  
  
Yami C.: No problem. (Swings the Millennium Sword, points it at Isis and a flash of light comes out.)  
  
Isis: My eyes!!! (Tries jumping away, does a complete back flip and hits Yami Bakura straight in the face with her foot.)  
  
Y.B.: Aww, damn woman! Watch it.  
  
All the rest in awe.  
  
Capito: There. Told you. Now for the famous Cid Highwind, pilot extraordinaire, Joey!  
  
Mai: What!!! You want us dead? Joey can't drive a bike, let alone pilot an airship.  
  
Yami C.: You underestimate the power of the author.  
  
Joey: All right. A main character.  
  
Capito: Yes, Joey. Okay, moving on.  
  
Yami C.: That's right, Capito. And it looks like we have another important character to announce. Oh, who will it be.  
  
Capito: You watch to much TV. Its for the part of.  
  
Yami C.: Aeris, the flower lady from the slumps, last of the Cetra. And chosen for her 'innocence', its Serenity!!!  
  
Joey: All right, sis. You made it too.  
  
Serenity: Yes, I know the whole part already. I fall in love and die.  
  
Joey: Yeah. hey, what. YOU FALL IN LOVE??? AND DIE???  
  
Capito: Well. yeah.  
  
Joey: You sick author. You're gonna kill her!  
  
Capito: It's not real. Relax.  
  
Yami C.: Oookaay. Movin on. For the part of Vincent, we ,Capito and I, Have chosen Kaiba.  
  
Kaiba: Huh?  
  
Capito: You got the role of Vincent.  
  
Kaiba: Yeah sure.  
  
Tea: What about me?  
  
Capito: You get to be Yuffie.  
  
Yami C.: And for the part of Baret, leader of Avalanche, Tristan.  
  
Tristan: Woohoo. I get to be in charge.  
  
Yami: Just for a short time. I take it over from you.  
  
Tristan: Oh, well at least I get to play from the beginning.  
  
Yami C. and for the part of Cait Sith, we have. borrowed Teddy from Rebecca. (Teddy appears and the sounds of screams can be heard.)  
  
Far away Rebecca: Teddy, teddy. Where are you.  
  
Yami: Ah. And how are you planning to move this thing? It was partially controlled by Reeve.  
  
Capito: Yes, and since Cait Sith was a game freak, we decided that the part was going to Duke Devlin (He too appears, but from out of a door)  
  
Duke: What's up?  
  
Yugi: Duke, you're in this too?  
  
Duke: Yeah, it pays really well.  
  
Mai: What do you mean 'Pays well'.  
  
Duke: I mean, I get a lot of mon-ney for doing this.  
  
Joey: Why does he get paid and we don't?  
  
Capito: Well, with my author power, I can make you guys, but somehow, he dared me in a dice bet. He did wanted the part, but said he would do it and would teach me one of those dice tricks if I won. And he would do it, but get a paycheck if he would win.  
  
Duke: Naturally, I won.  
  
Tristan: And, how much does he make?  
  
Capito bowing over and whispering in Tristan's ear.  
  
Tristan: o_o Holy S**t. That much?  
  
Yami C.: Yes, but now, the last one of the good guys. Red XIII  
  
Yugi: I wonder who could do that.  
  
Capito: Why Yugi, I'm glad you asked. That would be you.  
  
Yugi: Uhm, excuse me, but isn't Red XIII an animal?  
  
Yami C.: How quickly you forgot. Power of Illusion. One of my gifts. (Aims at Yugi)  
  
Yami: Aibou.  
  
Yugi's hair turns fire red. He seems to grow a tale and his hands turn into claws.  
  
Yugi: What the. Hey, no fair.  
  
Capito: You'll have to deal with it. Okay, enough for now. Next Time, I'll give the baddies their part and the minor parts. And we will start the story.  
  
Yami C.: R&R.  
  
Yugi: Hey, what about me? Do I have to be like this? HELP!!! 


	2. Our villans

Capito: Hey guys. Woohoo, updates. Thank you Mamono. I notice Seto is your fav. character.  
  
And thank you, Dark Elf 6. And about that Yami suppressing tip. . . well, it didn't go as planned. The authors frying pan I mean. Sure, he doesn't talk bad to me so much any more. In fact, he nearly doesn't talk at all! He has developed a Frying Pan Phobia! He just sits in a corner, looking at me and whispering to himself. If he sees a frying pan he runs away screaming. And last time when I had to go to a supermarket, there was a pan-sale. I was standing 2 meters away from the frying pans, and he just ran up to me, pushed me on the ground, locked my arm on my back and screamed: Oh, no you don't. I won't let you! No more. NO MORE!!!  
  
He's lost it. But he has to announce, so here he is. (Drags Yami Celcior in, completely tied up in chains.)  
  
Capito: Announce!  
  
Yami C.: Capito Celcior does. . . does not own Yu-gi-oh! and, and Final Fantasy.  
  
Capito: (friendly tone)Which Final Fantasy?  
  
Yami C.: (screaming like he's going to be tortured, burned, killed and chopped) Nr 7, Nr 7!!! Please, no more frying pan. I beg you. (breaks down, crying)  
  
Capito: There there. I told you I was sorry about the whole frying pan. It worked with DE6.  
  
Y.C.: Then why -sniff- am I tied up?  
  
Capito: Cause you wouldn't listen and stay in the same room as me.  
  
Yugi: (still with red fur and paws -read first chapter-) Hey, lets start. The sooner this is over, the sooner I lose this fur. It's itching!  
  
Yami: I thought it was all an illusion?  
  
Y.C.: It is. Its all in his head. Please, save me.  
  
Tristan: (completely covered up) We would, but that author power is holding us down. And besides, is this your work? (puts cloak down, revealing a big, black beard and his right hand replaced by a machine gun)  
  
Capito: Yeah, Yami Celcior did that. Don't worry, it'll go of at the end. But no time to argue now, we have some baddies to make.  
  
First of all, the first foe, President Shinra. That will be something for Weevil.  
  
Everybody: What!!!  
  
Weevil: Thank you. I knew I would make my way cheating.  
  
Capito: That's why you're chosen. Shinra cheats all of the time. Don't worry guys (turns to our "hero's") don't forget he dies in the very beginning.  
  
Everybody: Hooray.  
  
Capito: Now, for his son. . .  
  
Weevil: I have a son?  
  
Capito: Yes, he replaces you after you die. Now, for Rufus Shinra I have chosen. . . Malik!  
  
Marik: What about me?  
  
Capito: I don't know, you might get some small parts. Okay, so for our big evil company leaders we have decided. You guys might want to hang around CEO Kaiba for a while.  
  
Kaiba, Weevil and Malik: Hey!!!  
  
Yami C.: Somebody help. I am still not free.  
  
Joey: Shut it. We are listening to the announcements. I wanna know who I'm gonna beat up.  
  
Capito: Thank you. Now, for the Turks: For Tseng, Yami Bakura. For Reno, Rex Raptor. For Rude, Rishid. And Mai will play Elena.  
  
Mai: What, you think I'm an evil character?  
  
Capito: No, but it was the only important role that I could think of for you. Except if you want to be Scarlet. Sorry  
  
Mai: Point taken.  
  
Capito: Next is, of course the infamous, evil, brilliant foe Sephiroth. I have chosen a guy who has 2 out of 3 of those qualities. Meet. . . Pegiroth!!! Muhahahaaa!  
  
(Pegasus walks in) Ah, Kaibaboy and Yugiboy. What are you doing here?  
  
Tea, Mai, Serenity and Yugi start screaming like girls. (Three of them ARE girls)  
  
Everybody else: PEGASUS.  
  
Yami: What in the name of RA are YOU doing here? I demand to know.  
  
Pegasus: Easy, Cloudy. You're supposed to have looked up to me once, the great Pegiroth!!!  
  
Capito: You are taking this to far. You're just an actor.  
  
Pegasus: Am I really? How do YOU know so sure?  
  
Capito: Cause I'm the one told who told you that you were going to play Sephiroth.  
  
Now, for the last three, I choose Kemo for the part of Heidegger, Marik for Palmer and Scarlet as herself.  
  
Everybody (again): What the h**l?  
  
Scarlet: Yeah, C. here couldn't think of anyone who could be as good as me.  
  
Capito: Uh, I couldn't find anyone at all. So, you guys are gonna have to do with her. Sorry.  
  
Everybody except Kaiba: Aaaawww.  
  
Kaiba: Hey, but we get to kill her as well. And Isis, you have a slap contest with her.  
  
Isis: Really??? Do I win???  
  
Kaiba: You have to endure one smack, and the next time you beat her.  
  
Joey: Hey, I thought she lost?  
  
Capito: That's only when you suck at the game. Not literally.  
  
Serenity: So what. He sucks at the game figure of speech AND literally.  
  
Everybody else: Eeewww. Grosse.  
  
Capito: Remind me to never lend games to Joey.  
  
Yami C.: Sure. Will you untie me then?  
  
Capito: After these announcements. Yugi, do you know why you are Red XIII? Cause Bugenhagen is played by your Grandpa. And Serenity, your mom is playing Elmyra.  
  
Joey: Great, I can see mom.  
  
Capito: Eh, sorry Joey. She only wanted to participate if you had a restraining order. Oh and Godo is played by Crockete (or how the he** you spell it anyway.). That will be all. Next chapter, we begin the story. Until then. Ciao! 


	3. The madness begins

Yami Celcior: Hello, and welcome to the third instalment of Yu-Gi-Oh! Fantasy 7. I'm the assistant director, Yami Celcior.  
  
Now, last time you saw me all scared and stuff, but that's over now. I've got my revenge.  
  
Capito: (storming in, furious) WHO spray painted MY hair PINK?!?  
  
Yami C.: (smirking) I have no idea.  
  
Capito: YOU!!! How could you. Who gave you this stupid idea?  
  
(Dark Elf 6 whistling innocently, and slowly walks away)  
  
Capito: Dark Elf? And the therapist told me he was just getting better. Okay, that does it. You're going down. (Takes out the patented Super- Giant- Waterproof-Author-Frying-Pan)  
  
Capito: I'm gonna hit you SO hard, the therapist is going to take ten years just to get you talking again.  
  
Yami C.: (Takes out two Mega-Pink-Hairspray-Cans) Oh yeah? Well I'm gonna spray you so pink, even Barbie's gonna puke.  
  
(Star an all out battle of author-Yami)  
  
Yugi: Eh, guys? We were supposed to start today.  
  
Yami: It doesn't matter, Yugi. We'll start it anyway.  
  
Tea: Yeah, I'll concern myself with them. I got a great idea. Okay, you two, let's talk friendship. (Starts friendship speech)  
  
Malik: This could take a while. Let's begin.  
  
Isis: Capito Celcior does not own Yu-gi-oh!.  
  
Scarlet: And he doesn't own Final Fantasy 7 as well.  
  
~~~  
  
Narrator: Stars, stars, so many stars. They turn into green orbs, shining light.  
  
A face, an angel it seems. Serenity stands up. She was praying at a small fountain. She walks on, to find herself in front of a street, cars racing by, almost hitting her  
  
Serenity: Hey, you moron on wheels! If you can't drive, stay of the road. You must be the reason of half the road kill!  
  
Narrator: Ahum, moving on. Up in the air, the cars fade. A huge city reveals itself. And there, a train. City, train, city, train, cit. . . no wait, that's the train. It slows down.  
  
In the station, two guards are with the train.  
  
Someone jumps out. A girl. One guard runs forward.  
  
Mai: (She is given the part of Jessie, just for a small part on the good guys) Heeya!  
  
Narrator: The girl kicks the man. The other guard notices (took him a while, no?) and runs forward. A boy jumps out and swings the incoming guard over his shoulder.  
  
Mokuba: And stay down. (Hey, Mokuba wanted a part so badly, and Kaiba threatened to sue me for everything I got, so I gave him Biggs part. But how the h*** did he do that move?)  
  
Narrator: A fat guy appears (its Joey with a pillow stuffed under his sweater. I needed someone to play Wedge, and only Joey can eat as much. Plus, Cid won't appear for a while.)  
  
Then, a big, bearded man comes out. He has a gun instead of his right hand.  
  
Tristan: Come on, newbie.  
  
Narrator: Yami spins sideways down. He's wearing a dark blue outfit. (check the good movies. His suit is dark blue)  
  
The four others are around the corner, and completely ignored by the two guards coming down. (I always wondered about that.) A battle begins.  
  
The two guards are holding a gun, and the blue-suited-trespasser pulls out a HUGE sword.  
  
Yami: Ugh, how can he even lift this.  
  
Guard 1: Hey, look. He can't lift that thing. As long as he can't do that, we're safe. (fires his gun, but misses)  
  
Suddenly, Yami lifts the sword.  
  
Guard 2: He can, he fooled us.  
  
Narrator: They both run away, and lucky for Yami. Immediately, he falls back because of the weight.  
  
Our hero robs the two dead bodies of a potion.  
  
Yami: So this is what the Tomb Robber feels.  
  
Narrator: You don't know any 'Tomb Robber' Yami. Okay, he starts running upwards. He gains up on Mokuba and Joey. Mai is working on the door.  
  
Mokuba: Hey, we've never had anyone who used to work for SOLDIER work for us.  
  
Mai: He's from SOLDIER? Aren't they the enemy? Eww, this door is dirty. I just finished my nails.  
  
Mokuba: That's great Jessie. No, I said he USED to work for SOLDIER, now he works for us. By the way, what was your name again?  
  
Yami: Cumulus. . . No, wait. It had something to do with. . . Ah, yes. Cloud.  
  
Narrator: Okay it's just a play (takes a whole bottle of painkillers, aspirin and stuff and swallows it all.)  
  
I'm calm.  
  
Mokuba: Nice to meet ya. I'm Bi. . .  
  
Yami: I don't care for your names. I was hired for this job, and nothing more.  
  
Mai: Now that's just plain rude.  
  
Narrator: Tristan appears, shaking his hand violently.  
  
Tristan: Hey, hurry up guys.  
  
Mai: Don't worry. (door opens) There.  
  
They all run in, with Cumulus, I mean Cloud/Yami waiting. Tristan turns around.  
  
Tristan: I don't know if I should trust you.  
  
Yami: What's your name?  
  
Tristan: You're the one that names me. I've played the game.  
  
Narrator: Uh, Tristan? We use the standard names. You're Barret Wallace.  
  
Tristan: What he said. Okay, move it.  
  
Narrator: And so, they continued their terrorist actions. Tristan gave a 'Save the planet' speech, Yami ignored him (Probably still bored from the 'Save the Wales speeches -sure they need to be saved, but man those speeches-) They unlocked two more doors, and left Mokuba and Joey for a look-out. Mai, Tristan and Yami went in the elevator. Mai, being the 'I- don't-want-to-put-the-smallest-pressure-on-my-fingernails'-girl she was, demanded Yami to press the button.  
  
The elevator goes down, and they jump out. After a long chase, they enter a building.  
  
Mai: Okay, I'll stay here.  
  
Yami: Why?  
  
Mai: Cause I gotta do my make-up.  
  
Tristan: Okay, see you later.  
  
Narrator: They go down, leaving Mai to do her make-up. They walk over a small 'bridge' and there it is: Mako Reactor nr.1.  
  
Yami: (Falls down on knees) Aaaahhh. Mental images, help. HELP.  
  
Tristan: Are you alright?  
  
Yami: No, I'm fine. In fact I feel like I just won the Lottery.  
  
Tristan: Really?  
  
Yami: NO!!! My head feels like exploding. Lets hurry. The sooner we finish this, the sooner I get some medic attention.  
  
Tristan: You're insured?  
  
Yami: does this job has a medical insurance?  
  
Tristan: you're with a bunch of unorganized terrorists who plan on rid the world of the evil organization Shinra at all costs, even if we don't have much money. Of course this job doesn't come with medic insurance.  
  
Yami: Then I don't. Let's blow this joint.  
  
Narrator: They place the bomb and then. . .  
  
Launcher Spider: Hahaha. I will destroy these two targets. Affirmative, affirmative.  
  
Yami: A launcher Spider. Attack it with thunder magic.  
  
Tristan: ???  
  
Narrator: Yami pulls out an orb and produces. . .  
  
Yami: Nothing?  
  
Capito: (just recovered from the friendship speech. It did more brain damage then Yami Celcior ever could do.) Must have run out of batteries. This is a low budget play.  
  
Yami: And what with the fancy backgrounds?  
  
Capito: Why do you think it's low budget.  
  
Yami: Yeah, right. Okay, I ATTACK!  
  
Narrator: And thus, Yami strode forwards and slashed down.  
  
Tristan: My turn. (Aims his gun-arm and fires, only to find corks flying out.)  
  
Capito: Again, it's a low budget play.  
  
Narrator: Okay, I'll just act as if it had much effect. Okay, and so, the launcher spider wasn't feeling well, and he lifted up his hind legs.  
  
Yami: Barret, be careful. When a Launcher Spider does that, he prepares to counter. Do not, I repeat: DO NOT attack him.  
  
Narrator: Tristan, being the stupid one he is, decided to attack him anyway, and noticed the hard way to listen better to Yami.  
  
Tristan: Uh, Cloud. Why is the spider turning? Cloud? Why is the spider fidgeting his legs? Why is there a white, sticky goo flying towards me? Why is it hurting?  
  
Narrator: Okay, that said and done, the spider stopped with putting up his legs.  
  
Yami: Okay, attack!!!  
  
Narrator: The spider was defeated. Tristan found a better weapon and the clock was ticking. 10.00, 09.59, 09.58. . . Our two heroes ran for it. Will they make it? Tune in next time.  
  
Same dumb hour, same dumb author. 


	4. Reactor Explosion

Tea: Hia, and welcome to the fourth chapter of 'Yu-Gi-Oh! Fantasy 7'. Normally, Capito would say this, and otherwise it would be Yami Celcior. But they can't come out alone.  
  
Mai: But, since it is required to have the two here, we brought them along. (Shouting to the door) Bring them in boys.  
  
(Tristan and Joey bring in Capito, tied up and hanging with his legs and arms to a metal bar, Indian capture style I've heard.)  
  
Serenity: Okay, guys. Y.C. too.  
  
(Yami and Yugi push Yami Celcior forth, and he's in the same position Hannibal Lector was in.)  
  
Yami C.: Let me OUT!!!  
  
Joey: Yo, guys. Chill. We're not letting you go until you guys get along.  
  
Capito: What kind of Hikari gets along with his Yami?  
  
Yami: Hey, I'll have you know, me and Yugi get along great!  
  
Yami C.: You're the exception that confirms the rule.  
  
Tea: Oh, really. Well, if I'm not mistaken, you two used to get along great.  
  
Capito: See, you 'used' past tense.  
  
Tea: Okay, if that's the way you want it, I'll just have to talk friendship again. My awesome weapon!  
  
Capito and Yami C.: NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Scarlet: Capito Celcior does not own the amazing, magnificent and wonderful Final Fantasy 7 game.  
  
Isis: Oh, shut up. He also does not own the fantastic, mysterious and great Yu-Gi-Oh! series and card game.  
  
~~~  
  
Chapter 2: Reactor Explosion.  
  
Narrator: And so, Yami and Tristan had defeated the Launcher Spider.  
  
Tristan: Okay, Cloud. We need to get out of here. The clock is ticking.  
  
Yami: Yes, I know. Lets hurry.  
  
Narrator: Yami and Tristan ran over the "bridge" and started to climb a ladder.  
  
Mai: Hey; wait up. I can't come.  
  
Yami: What? Why not.  
  
Mai: Help me. . .  
  
Narrator: Yami walked towards her and aided her. . .by retrieving her make- up box. It was stuck in the metal contraption.  
  
Mai: Thanks.  
  
Narrator: She walked over Yami and hurried herself out of there.  
  
Yami ran after her. He saw her going through the door and followed.  
  
Yami: Where is she? I saw her here a moment ago.  
  
Tristan: Oh, it probably has something to do with budget cuts. The author can't afford to use three characters in the same scene too often.  
  
Narrator: Ahem, I'm working here. Okay, Our two hero's hurried up the stairs and entered the elevator. It began to rise.  
  
Once up, the doors opened and Mokuba and Mai where waiting.  
  
Yami: Biggs, open the door.  
  
Mokuba: I'm working on it. There!  
  
Narrator: The doors opened and they went through. One door later, the timer reached 10 seconds.  
  
Mai: Aagh!  
  
Yami: Jessie, I'll help you.  
  
Narrator: Yami helped Mai get up, who fell. Courtesy to her high heels. Just after they escaped, the timer reached zero and the reactor blew up.  
  
Yami: Jessie, why are you wearing high heels,  
  
Mai: A girl never knows when she might meet a cute guy.  
  
Yami: You're a terrorist!  
  
Mai: Cutie might be a cop.  
  
They quickly left the place alone.  
  
~~~  
  
That's the end of this chapter. I know; not funny, but give me a break. Soon, I'll put some truth or dare in it. (Cloud and his friends could have done that. They camped out for so long.) and spin the bottles and stuff. I know that is funny.  
  
This is a short chapter, but longer are on the way. (By the way, if you have some good Truth or Dare questions, or S.T.B couples, send them. 


	5. When you can't handle it

Capito: I love you, Yami Celcior.  
  
Yami C.: And I don't hate you so much anymore.  
  
Tea, Serenity, Isis and Yugi: Aaawww.  
  
Yami: There, that is how it is supposed to be. Be friends with your Hikari.  
  
Yugi: Yes Yami (starts hugging him)  
  
Yami: Eeck! Getitoffgetitoffgetitoffgetitoffgetitoffgetitoff!!!  
  
Mai: Well then, let's just get this over with. Capito Celcior does not own: A: A car.  
  
B: Yu-Gi-Oh! copyrights.  
  
And C: Final Fantasy VII copyrights.  
  
Chapter three: When you can't handle it, don't start drinking.  
  
~~~  
  
Narrator: The terrorists had successfully destroyed the Shinra Reactor 8, and they had spread out. Meeting point was at the train station.  
  
Yami walked down a street, when he saw a girl with a basket being beaten up. Quickly, he ran to help her.  
  
Yami: Hey, leave the lady a-whoa.  
  
Narrator: Yami beat the crap out of them, by stepping in the basket, falling down on the thugs and accidentally bumping heads, which, because off the spikes on his head, is lethal. Hey, whatever works.  
  
Mysterious flower girl (who looks oddly familiar, because we have seen her in the intro) Thanks. Hey, did you feel that tremor, earlier?  
  
Yami(starting to panic, cause he A: is nervous because he caused the explosion or B: He is standing with a girl) Nothing, hey listen...(looks at basket, he still has his foot in it) don't see many flowers around here.  
  
Serenity: Oh, you like? They're worthless now. No one will buy them. You can have them.  
  
Narrator: And, she takes off. Meanwhile, Tristan, Mokuba, Joey and Mai where sitting in the cargo wagon. Yami had not shown up at the station.  
  
Mokuba: Cloud never showed up.  
  
Tristan: ...  
  
Mokuba: You think he...  
  
Tristan: No way! Cloud would never get himself killed.  
  
Mokuba: Uh...I didn't say he was killed..  
  
Tristan: Oh. Sorry  
  
Mai: You think he will keep on fighting for Pebble Slide?  
  
Tristan: How the hell would I know if he would keep on fighting for AVALANCHE, Jessie.  
  
Mai: Pebble Slide is cuter, and we are not with that many people to count as an avalanche.  
  
Narrator: They argued for a while about which one was correct. Meanwhile, just above on the streets.  
  
Guard 1: Hey, that guy looks like he might want to buy a Tom bola Ticket. With all profit to the new air filters of Midgar. Finally, there will be fresh air in the slums.  
  
Guard 2: Yes, let's go and ask him. Excuse me sir.  
  
Yami: Eeck. I don't know how you found me, but you won't get me alive.  
  
Guard 1: Uh, sir?  
  
Yami: DIE!!!  
  
Narrator: And so, with danger for his own life, Yami killed two defenceless guards who where so evilly trying to sell Tom bola Tickets.  
  
Yami: Rub it in, why don't you.  
  
Narrator: And, because of the noise (try killing two people with a sword, they will start screaming spontaneously) new guards came running to the place of massacre. These, however, carried guns.  
  
Guard 3: Hold it right there, buster.  
  
Guard 4: We got you now. Killing innocent cops.  
  
Yami: Innocent? They where going to beat me to dead!  
  
Guard 4: Nonsense. They are here to sell Tom bola Tickets. All profits would go to a new air filter. But now, all the funding will go to their funeral.  
  
Yami: WHAT???  
  
Guard 5: Get him!  
  
Narrator: Yami takes a step back. Pretty stupid, since he was standing on the edge of a bridge. Luckily for him, a train was just passing underneath him, and broke his fall. Then, the train went undergrounds. Yami still on it.  
  
Yami: Woohoo, I rock.  
  
Narrator: Sure you do, Yami. Sure you do. Okay, as I was saying, Yami crawled to the last cart. He graciously swung by a bar above the door, and crashed against the glass door.  
  
Yami: Au. This is actually painful.  
  
Joey: Hey, look. A big fly, squashed against the window.  
  
Mokuba: That ain't no fly, that's...  
  
Doors open and a messy hero drops in.  
  
Tristan, Mai and Mokuba: Cloud?!?  
  
Joey: A big fly would have been cooler.  
  
Tristan: What's yer problem, making us worry like that.  
  
Yami: You were worried? Didn't know you cared.  
  
Tristan: I'm taking it out of yer fee.  
  
Yami: I'm getting paid for this stuff?  
  
Celcior: No, no. That is Barret's line. You are not getting paid. No one is, well...except for Duke, that is.  
  
Yami: Damn Dice Drooler.  
  
Narrator: The train made a short halt, and our 'heroes' left the cargo wagon. After a long way home, and some deep, poetic stuff Cloud was supposed to say (we decided against Yami saying it. Normally he should be good at such stuff, but he's been screwing things up, lately) they arrived at the Sector Seven Train Station.  
  
Tristan: Move out, team.  
  
Mai, Joey, Mokuba: Yes Sir.  
  
Narrator: They entered Sector Seven. As soon as Cloud saw, or better smelled, it, he covered his mouth and nose. It did not reek very well.  
  
Yami: IT STINKS.  
  
Narrator: Anyway, the inhabitants did glare at Yami, insulting their town, and our big-mouthed hero quickly scrambled.  
  
Yami: (looks around to find "Seventh heaven", Tifa's bar) Now where would it be? (hears shots) There would it be.  
  
Tristan: And stay out. This place is closed.  
  
Narrator: The bar was quickly emptied. Yami fought against the stream of people.  
  
Isis: Ya know, Barret, you might want to think of a different way to clear out my bar. My customers aren't going to keep coming back.  
  
Yami: Hey, Tifa.  
  
Rebecca: Daddy? You no daddy.  
  
Yami: Rebecca? What are you doing here.  
  
Celcior: She found out I had Teddy. She was about to beat me to death, when she heard what we where doing. Now she plays Marlene, to keep an eye on Teddy.  
  
Rebecca: Damn right. Now shut your face and gimme those flowers.  
  
Yami Celcior: Actually, Rebecca, in the game you can choose. And since you are not important, I am going to let Isis take them.  
  
Rebecca: Why you, poor excuse for a Yami. I should beat the living daylight out of you.  
  
Yami C.: Hah. I am not physically here. Bounded with Celcior makes it possible for me to dematerialise.  
  
Celcior: Yami, please...  
  
Rebecca: Oh? (turns to Celcior and starts to strangle him) Then how is THIS.  
  
Celcior and Yami Celcior: Urggl...  
  
Isis: Rebecca, stop that. Look over here.  
  
Rebecca: TEDDY. (Isis is holding teddy in her left hand, and in her right hand...)  
  
Isis: I WILL burn his stuffing, you know.  
  
Rebecca: O-Kay...(Slowly lets go off Celcior, and equally slowly, Isis puts down the lighter and the teddy-bear.)  
  
Celcior runs away.  
  
Narrator: Fine, now that that is taken care off, lets continue.  
  
Isis: Hey Cloud. How did it go with Barret. Did you fight with him?  
  
Yami: The guy's a Looney. He almost got us guys shot, blown up and chopped down. But other then that, I guess he's OK.  
  
Isis: (Notices the basket) What's that?  
  
Yami: Oh, this? Here.  
  
Isis: Oh, thank you. (looks at the crumpled flowers.) Well, I guess the thought was sweet.  
  
Narrator: After a while, in which Tristan told Yami that he did a nice job, Mokuba that he would enjoy blowing up more stuff and Joey that he liked Isis cooking so much, he just couldn't help himself, as if Joey ever had self-restraint when it's about food, The five of them, Tristan, Mai, Mokuba, Joey and Rebecca, went down to a secret level. The door was hidden under a pin-bal machine. Only Yami and Isis stayed in the bar.  
  
Isis: Can I get you a drink?  
  
Yami: Give me something strong.  
  
Narrator: Isis mixed some drinks, shook them and poured it into a glass. Yami gulped it down.  
  
Yami: Who...strong stuff.  
  
Yami C.: What do you mean, Yami. Cloud could take it. And this is only water.  
  
Isis: Wa...ter?  
  
Yami C.: Yes, water. This is a play. We don't use alcohol.  
  
Isis: Uhn...  
  
Yami C.: Don't tell me you used alcohol on a person who is linked to a 15 year old midget, who can't even drink an Ice-tea without adding extra water. Exactly what kind of drink did you gave him?  
  
Isis: A Bloody Anubis. It's a cocktail consisting out of Vodka, Scotch Whisky, Cognac, Brandy and Gin.  
  
Yami C:.......................Right, that does indeed sound like a meeting with Ancient Egypt's Grim Reaper. Look out, Yami is escaping.  
  
Narrator: Yes, indeed. While the two of them where arguing, Yami had fled to the pinball machine. He was going down, and carried his drink with him.  
  
Isis: Oh, no. He's going to give it to the others.  
  
Narrator: You are right Isis, because at this very moment, Mai, Joey and Mokuba are down on the ground, recovering from the massive brain cell-loss, and Tristan is taking a gulp himself.  
  
Kaiba: What? You gave my brother alcohol? He ain't any better at it then Yugi. NOOOO! Mokuba. What have they done to you.  
  
Mai: Hey, hic, I've got a great idea.  
  
Joey: Huhn?  
  
Mai: Let's all play...TRUTH OR DARE.  
  
Joey: Huhn.  
  
Mokuba: Pfff. Yaah.  
  
Celcior: Oh-oh; nothing good can come out of that. What will happen? Let's see that next time. I'm going to a new site. It's an RPG from Yu-Gi-Oh!. It is still brand new, and there are more people needed. I believe there are still some leading rolls left. Or you can choose to play as Rex, or Mako, or Rebecca. I believe it is called www.pureimagination.bravehost.com 


	6. Truth or Dare

Capito: Oh-oh, this is chapter 4 of Yu-Gi-Oh! Fantasy 7, but things are not going as planned. Some of my actors, the cast of Yu-Gi-Oh!, are drunk. If Isis hadn't been so stupid and gave Yami water, instead of her infamous 'Bloody Anubis', this wouldn't have happened. I have pretty much lost control over their actions.  
  
Yami C.: Yes, and now Yami, Tristan, Mokuba, Joey and Mai are going to play Truth or Dare, and I think Rebecca is participating too.  
  
Capito: Yami Celcior, what are we going to do?  
  
Yami C.: We punish Isis for messing things up, by forcing her to join their circle of doom. And we act like it was all planned, and hope the readers haven't played FFVII for a while. For your information, readers, Cloud actually did get drunk, and Jessie did wanted to play TOD. Yeah, that's gotta do it.  
  
Capito: I hope you know what you are doing, cause I don't own FFVII to change the game. And I hope that the characters don't get hurt, cause I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! either. If I damage them, that is going to cost me.  
  
Yami C.: Relax, all we have to do is convince the narrator to help us.  
  
Capito: By the way, you never told me who the Narrator was.  
  
Yami C.: Didn't I? Well, its Ryou. I know, I know. But there wasn't another part that came to mind, so I had him do that. Face it, I have taken over control over this story.  
  
Narrator Ryou: Hey, you wouldn't tell that we where plotting this thing. And you said that I would remain anonymous.  
  
Capito: A take-over? I don't think so. (pulls out his 'Patented Super-Giant- Waterproof-Author-Frying-Pan') Remember the pan ?  
  
Yami C.: No, not the Pan, anything but that. I yield, surrender, give up the fight, return your command. But not the pan.  
  
Capito: Good, ASSISTANT, we will now start acting as if our noses bleed, and continue the play.  
  
Mai: Gather around, Goys and Birls (she's drunk, I think)  
  
Narrator Ryou: You heard the lady, chaps. When we last saw our, well, heroes, they where pretty much all drunk. Except Rebecca and Isis, but knowing Rebecca, she doesn't need alcohol to go all crazy. Now, the five drunks, psycho girl and Isis (who was forced to go by the Author and his assistant) are gathering in a circle to play Satan's game, the evil quiz, the thing known to man as –  
  
Mai, Rebecca and Mokuba: TRUTH OR DARE!  
  
Joey: who will go first? Jessie, since she brought it up? I vote Jessie, Jessie, Jessie.  
  
Mai : OK. I'll start. But we must all do at least a few rounds. Yeah, hic, that we must. Uhm, Barret. Truth or Dare.  
  
Tristan: I am the brave leader of Avalanche. I choose dare.  
  
Mai: Good. I think I'll let you...remove your metal arm and wear this absolutely CUTE bunny suit.(Holds up Funny bunny PJ's.) for the REST of the evening!  
  
Tristan: WHAT?!? (is immediately sober) Where did you get that?  
  
Mai: giggle...I found it in...giggle...Pegasus's dressing room. Don't tell him.  
  
Pegasus Offstage: What? Why that little annoying girl. I was looking for that thing for hours.  
  
Narrator R.: OK, that was more then I wanted to know. So Mai held the Pyjama up and Tristan, who by the way is pretty sober now, looks at it in disgust. I think we all know what is going through his mind right now. Yup, he's thinking right now how that pink would curse with his eyes.  
  
Tristan: NO F**KING WAY AM I GOING TO WEAR THA' THING.  
  
Isis: Uh, Jessie, isn't that a bit cruel?  
  
Mai: No way, Tifa. He picked dare himself.  
  
Tristan: And if I refuse?  
  
Mai: Ah, the penalty is to go out on the street, and streak in front of the bar.  
  
Tristan: Pass me a screwdriver, please. This arm won't come off.  
  
Narrator: Okay, people. For those who can't imagine Tristan with a beard and one arm, dressed in a Funny Bunny pyjama, lucky you. Now, however, it is Tristan's turn.  
  
Tristan: Okay, Wedge. Truth or Dare.  
  
Joey: Truth. Hahaha, you won't have me, B'rett. I'm not dumb enough...hic...to be...  
  
Tristan: Yeah, whatever. Drunk Duel Monkey. Okay, Do you have a crush on anyone.  
  
Joey: (is too drunk to realise that there are more people then Tristan alone) Yup. Ah sure do.  
  
Tristan: Who.  
  
Joey: Mmm-Ma...  
  
Narrator R.: Oh, no. Will Joey, drunk as he is, admit that he has a crush on Mai?  
  
Joey: Mmm-Ma...mama says that that is private stuff and should not be discussed. I'll go and pay... what was da p'nalty?  
  
Isis: Wedge, it was streaking in front of the bar. Please, for the good of my customers, don't.  
  
Narrator R.: But Joey is already on his way out. The others stayed down. They never expected him to go and actually do the stuff. Neither did I. And I will stay here, with the others. At least we won't have to see Joey streak.  
  
Outside Capito: Oh, dear GOD! My eyes, my eyes. I'm BLIND!!!  
  
Outside Yami C.: For the love of Ra, somebody poke my eyes out. PLEASE?  
  
Joey, after returning: There. Nothing to it.  
  
Narrator: OK, what happened to the Author and his Yami? I'll go check. Yup, they are both lying on the ground. I think Capito is having spasm attacks. And there is Yami Celcior, trying to spoon his eyes out. I'll just leave them to it.  
  
Joey: Now it is my turn. Tifa?  
  
Isis: Dare!  
  
Joey: Okay, Tifa. I dare you to cut off Cloud's hair.  
  
Yami and Isis: WHAT?!?!?  
  
Joey: Do it, or you'll both be paying da thingy.  
  
Mai: It's the rule's. If one is dared for a dare, and there is a second person appointed to assist, he or she must aid in any way he or she can. Both shall be punished.  
  
Isis: But...butbutbut...cutting of his hair?  
  
Joey: Do it, or streak!  
  
Isis: Wedge, your sober now. Aren't you.  
  
Joey: However did you notice. Cold has the effect to cure my hangover.  
  
Isis: I guess I have no choice.  
  
Yami: But Tifa...? My hair?  
  
Isis: Oh, don't worry. This is a play, Capito will make it fake.  
  
Narrator Ryou: Uh, sorry toots. Both the author and his Yami are out, I guess you have no choice. But, with the little power I have, I will make all of them sober if you want.  
  
Isis: My Pharaoh, forgive me...(takes out the scissors ) But I cannot allow us to go out and stand naked.  
  
Yami: sniff...my beautiful hair...gone...YOU WILL PAY, WEDGE!!!  
  
Isis: And what about me?  
  
Yami: I have to hang out with you for a while. Wedge is dead soon, I don't think I'll get as much time for revenge on him as I get to make you pay. Besides, you where forced.  
  
Narrator R: Yes, okay. I think no one is drunk anymore. Wow, that was short. But then, all these shocking revelations...  
  
Isis: Payback time. Marlene, I choose you.  
  
Rebecca: Pikachu. I mean, damn. I knew I shouldn't have watched those cartoons with Joey.  
  
Everyone but Joey: O__O  
  
Joey: What, they are good cartoons.  
  
Rebecca: Anyway, I choose truth.  
  
Isis: Okay, Marlene. I dare you to go and give your daddy a BIG hug.  
  
Rebecca: (looks and sees Tristan with only one arm, a beard, and in a Funny Bunny costume.) Do I have to? I mean...LOOK AT HIM!!!  
  
Yami, Joey and May: Yes, you have to!  
  
Narrator Ryou: Will Rebecca truly hug Tristan. Will Mai get her share of torment. Will Yami's hair ever grow back. Find out next time. 


End file.
